It’s been one hell of a ride..

You know honestly I don’t know where to begin…

I have noticed that my daughter seems to like to cause her own drama and then gets upset when people start talking behind her back. Is this a regular 14 year old female bullshit? Or is it something else all together?

Her and her boyfriend broke up, basically because she told the social worker at her school about the abuse that was going on in the house. Then he wanted to get back together, so they did.. for a day. Now it’s him calling her names and everything and I keep saying just block him from everything and don’t worry about what he says.

She apparently got a call at about 2:30am Saturday morning from some chick that was threatening her. I told her to block the number, easy to do on an iphone. Now it’s people are calling her ugly behind her back, but she doesn’t know who and they won’t say it to her face. No matter how many times I tell her you can not control other people’s actions or what they say, you can only control how you react.

She says that she doesn’t care, then the next minute she’s cutting herself with the sharpener part of a pencil sharpener. So I have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try and keep sharp things that she can use to cut herself, she will find a way. All the while saying she needs to find a different way to deal with her emotions and stress.

So while all this is going on and she can’t stop thinking about her ex, she is now dating a new guy. Apparently she’s taking it slow.. but not the point and not what I suggested she do. That’s where the conclusion is that she likes to create her own drama half the time.

She asked me yesterday if she could try smoking weed… Now we had this conversation the other day that if she wants to try it to do it with my friend so that she is in a safe environment. Well when I made that comment I was thinking a couple more years.. not 14. Nope I was wrong, she wanted to try it so she could forget for awhile about things.. I was like ummm that’s not how it works. The only thing that will heal a broken heart is time.

The funny thing is that she has shown 0 interest in witchcraft.. until now. She was wondering if there was a spell that would help her forget… ummm no, but I can probably come up with something to ease the pain, and once again asked why if she’s not over this one ex is she dating someone else already? Like really?? Take some time and take care of yourself, but I’m just mom, what do I know.

As for me I started a DBT group, the one that I have been waiting for and will be my final one. It’s 25 weeks, every Tuesday. So it’s good because it gets me out of the house but it didn’t help getting a sunburn on my sunburn lol. So that was my Tuesday morning, when I got home I had bought a Timmies for my friend, when I went back to give it to her she was passed out. So I took her dog for a walk. If that wasn’t bad enough I ended up walking to my boyfriends house to give him some stuff he left here last weekend that he needed. So in all I walked 17.3 km, 27,517 steps… which is good but left me on crutches the next day.

Which also happened to be the day I saw the new knee specialist. So I get to his office on crutches, in pain, he sends me to get an xray of my hip. 45 mins of waiting to get the xray done and I’m back in his office. Apparently with all the scans and xrays there is no reason I should be in the amount of pain I’m in… well thank you very fucking much for that. So he’s sending me for another MRI on my knee and that’s it.

As for the pain, Advil and Tylenol spaced out so it doesn’t hurt my stomach.. love doctors, they are so helpful.

My mood has been fluctuating like crazy, part of it is the pain, part of it is the weather, part of it is feeding off the moods of people around me and the other part is that I’m just damaged goods. I’m ok with that.

Yesterday was gorgeous, I just wanted to walk around, but couldn’t because of the stupid crutches.. today pouring rain. Doesn’t that figure lol. I did get my garden going so I have spent as much time outside as I can, weather permitting.

For now off to clean the house, since my allergies are going crazy with the three cats, people cutting their grass and spring in general lol. Hopefully it won’t be as long between posts.

One thought on “It’s been one hell of a ride..

  1. my nieces are going through things like that too. one can’t understand why she doesn’t have friends or why she loses friends, but she talks about people behind their back and does things to lose them. with teens, they aren’t really able to see the role they might play in things so blame others for everything. they are self absorbed like because it’s just how they are at that age. i don’t think it’s a good idea for your daughter to try smoking weed even if it wasn’t to try to escape reality for a bit. i used to use it a lot between 13 and 16 and a bit after, but it just added to things for me and didn’t help. hopefully she won’t get into that.

    one of my other nieces’ uses it now. her mother told her to try it for anxiety (she is 19 now). she now uses it almost daily or daily, and it is just really sad because there are other ways to learn to cope if she would have tried with a therapist, CBT, etc.


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