Now that I have a little more time…

So the journey of police is now over. I have mixed feelings about it, on one hand I’m glad that my daughter doesn’t have to keep talking about it, on the other hand it’s bullshit that while nothing was sexually done to my daughter, there should be some punishment for what was said and done.

I mean, when she was interviewed by FACS she said that the context in which he touched her breasts was because she poked him in that area first. Regardless, an adult male SHOULD NOT touch a young adult in that area. An adult male SHOULD NOT say what he said to her, and SHOULD NOT grab her hips the way that he did in the bedroom with me.

That to me while, yes it may be mild, is NOT talk or act that way. However, the police have decided that there is not enough to convict him. He’s getting a phone call from FACS to “warn” him that it is not appropriate. FUCK THAT!!

So ya not really, happy but not happy at the same time. At least we can now put this behind us and move forward.

As for me, my math is sorely lacking, every time I try to get it done something happens that I have to deal with and in the end I am so pissed that I can’t concentrate on it. It’s hard enough to understand when I’m in a good mood. I know that it needs to be done though so I will push forward, this is something I want for ME.

As for my daughter, she is going to the walk in clinic after school so that she can get a refill for her birth control and to get her chest checked out. She was coughing so hard last night she almost threw up on my floor… this morning though, while her voice was rough she sounded better and she wasn’t coughing.

The funny thing is that she came in at 7am and turned off my alarm for me since apparently I wasn’t fast enough. I was getting there but sleep is an elusive thing for me right now. Hopefully, with some of the stress leaving I can actually sleep again. The problem is that when I got to sleep and I’m exhausted and have taken my pills, the second my head hits that pillow my mind won’t shut up. The sad part is it’s usually not anything exciting either, it’s just mundane stuff. Not stresses of the day, just stupid random thoughts.

So where we go from here, I don’t know. I’m waiting to hear where her counselling will be and what’s going on with that. I’m tired of the waiting game, but at least one of the games is over.

My mood has been on a downward spiral, but I have been keeping it together for my daughter. Now that I know about the police, I can’t even focus on the things that I enjoy. The main one being my video games. I already know that I play them way to much, but they aren’t bringing me the same escape that I really need right now.

It is however hopefully going to stay as nice as it is right now, and I can get outside more. Thankfully my friend in the back has a dog, and I can go with her to take him for a walk. Gets me out of the house at least.

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