So yesterday, after my daughter was home for a bit we had a little sit down. I explained to her that a friend had to someone higher up in the school and that the police may not get involved (yes, I lied, I need to get this sorted out and need to get her to understand how severe this is) I told her that she would have to go write a report at the police station and that there may even be a court date. If my ex is convicted that would mean he could go to jail and have to register as a sex offender, however if they find that she is making it up she could end up going to juvie. The whole talk she looked more like she was in trouble then anything else, she kept asking if I switched sides as to whom I believed. I told her I was Switzerland of course she didn’t get that. So I explained that if the police get involved it doesn’t matter who I believe, you think the police or judge is going to care?
So she ended up texting to of her friends that she might be going to juvie for lying about something that happened. So she is sticking to the story. However, last night I took her phone away before she was expecting me to. I got to see the real texts that were going on, since she didn’t have time to delete anything.
The boy that she was”dating”, whose dad came over the Friday before we broke up, who we thought that the problem was solved. That both parties involved knew there was to be no dating, that you don’t fall in love at 14 in two days. Well wouldn’t you know it, she’s texting him (which fine I don’t care if he’s a friend) but nope. They love each other, are going to marry each other and if my daughter gets sent to juvie, 1. she can hide at his place or 2. he will break the law and get her out somehow.
Well wasn’t I furious, I told her basically that the fact that she keeps lying to me and hurting me, makes me not want to believe a word out of her mouth. I have told her multiple times that actions speak louder then words. Well her actions are showing me she can’t be trusted and she won’t hesitate to lie to me in a heartbeat.
So just after our talk, my friend and I were talking and she said, I hate to say it but you LOOK depressed. Which I was, however after the whole cell thing the depression was masked by anger. I know from talking to my fiance yesterday that as long as my daughter is here, he doesn’t even want to look at her, which I totally understand. So I lost her for what I now honestly believe is nothing. So it doesn’t matter what I say or do or who I believe. Either way I lose. He did tell me (when I told him I was thinking of sending my daughter to my mom) that it would be a bad idea. I fought hard for 14 years to keep her and now I get the chance to be with her, yet right now, the way she treating me I don’t really want to be around her.
I don’t understand, I myself am not a liar, well except for yesterday and I’m sure a few other times (santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy) but, in general I don’t see a reason for lies. That’s not how I raised her. Up until age 9 she was an awesome kid, never really any problems. I don’t know what happened, but she needs to get it together before she gets seriously hurt or worse. I’m scared beyond words for her, if she continues down this path.
The sad part is she has the help in place but, she uses it to get more sympathy out of people. I don’t understand.