This weekend..

So this weekend has been interesting. After doing groceries on Saturday, we watched a couple of movies. She spent pretty much the entire day in her room on her electronics yesterday.

I have a gut feeling that I’m being played again with the whole fiance thing. There is just something about it. She sent a text to 2 friends about what happened on the Sunday she told me, after she told me. After he left on Sunday she has been bouncy and bubbly until today.

Today she woke up at 7am. She got dressed and ready for school, then she went into my room to get her phone and Ipad. I asked her what she was doing, she said that she told me she was getting her stuff. I’m like you don’t just walk into my room and take what you want. So I told her I’m doing an experiment.

I took away her net on her phone, I blocked the data from her phone. So I told her she could have her phone at 8:30 which is 15 minutes before she leaves.  I think I messed up by giving her all her electronics throughout the week. They were taken away for a reason, while I was going through them all yesterday, there’s pieces missing. There’s texts missing, there’s chunks of time that is missing when it comes to what she was doing on her computer, her Ipad a little harder to track. The rule has always been you don’t delete anything from your phone.

It’s like the boy that cried wolf, she has burned me so many times with lying and stealing. That while I want to believe her, the more I look at it without the raw emotions of trying to protect my daughter, things are adding up.

I mean on one hand it doesn’t matter, my fiance and I are done. He will either alienate his sister that took him in, and get back with me. Or he stays at his sister and we are over. I already know the answer, after all this I don’t expect him to just come back into the house with my daughter here. It sucks and breaks my heart, but I’m  more worried about if this is something that she made up and she’s playing me and she ends up telling the wrong person, what if the cops get involved. That could ruin his life.

I need to figure out how to get the truth out of here so that I can be at peace and actually know it’s the truth. I can’t live with this doubt, I would like to think I could trust my daughter, but I already know that she lies to me quite often and doesn’t think about consequences until they actually happen. I also know she has no empathy, there has been so many of the same conversations with her, telling her with raw honesty how I feel about the way she is treating me, or talking to me, or how she keeps breaking my trust. Within days it’s back to the same games.

I’m lost and don’t know what to do. Things are not alright, things are far from alright.

4 thoughts on “This weekend..

  1. yeah. that is a tough situation. one of my nieces’ didn’t like who my sister was with. he came into their life not long after my sister broke up/divorced from her second husband (the only father figure the kids had up to that point). my niece was younger then, around 8 or 9, i think. she would do horrible things to try to get him to leave (including putting cat poop in his shoes).

    her behavior escalated by the time she was 14, but more verbal wise. she would argue/yell/swear, threaten bodily harm, steal, etc. and have things taken from her as a consequence of her actions, and it wouldn’t phase her, etc. she got in trouble at school for violence and was involved in being an accomplice in stealing a car and had ZERO consequences for those when she had to go to court. she was at two strikes (they apparently let them get up to three strikes before any legal consequence).

    she ended up leaving the home at 14 because there were two younger kids and a baby on the way at that point, but she ended up basically on the streets and on drugs. just before leaving the house, she got into an argument with her new stepdad and claimed he tried to push her down the stairs. her previous stepdad was all about getting back at my sister, so he took my niece to the police station and filed a false report. little did they know, the incident she was talking about was something several of us were there for and had witnessed. he never tried to push her down the stairs; he chased her towards the stairs and told her to go to her room, and she ran down the stairs and almost slipped (the stairs were slippery). he might have picked her up at the bottom of the stairs to take her to her room (she often would test your patience and stand there and still argue with you.) thankfully, the police didn’t go through with charges as they got the true story.

    my niece was on the streets though because she did not qualify to go into foster care as the area she was in was filled to capacity, wouldn’t go into any type of other program, wasn’t allowed home due to the other children living there, wasn’t able to be hospitalized to evaluate her, and would have just run away anyway as she was so stubborn and wanted things her way. during that time, she was also found in a car with an adult male and a girl a year younger than her. the guy had drugs in the car and was known to police. still, there was nothing anyone could do with her.

    finally, she was taken to the hospital after months of being on the streets and drug use. it was then that she made the choice to do better for herself. it took a year or so after all that for her to finally apologize to her current stepdad for everything she did/accused him of, and she finally was able to see the things she was responsible for and (mostly) stop blaming everyone else. she still struggles but also does have a real dad with mental health issues (and a diagnosed sociopath and is an addict as well).

    they eventually do come around as they get older (after 16, i’d say more.)

    hopefully you can sort things out with your daughter and find out what the truth really is.

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  2. That’s what I’m afraid of, if it turns out that she’s making it up who is to say that the next lie isn’t worse (though this lie is bad enough, can ruin someone’s life)
    But then if I come across as not believing her she won’t come to me again for help.
    I have always been able to tell when she was lying, until this time.
    I know both him and her and I’m now smack dab in the middle and he’s worried about the police, she’s happier then a pig in poop and I’m so beyond miserable, that I’m contemplating sending her to BC with my mom or putting her in the system myself.
    I have been dealing with bs from her since she was 9 just never to this degree. The issue is how do I get the truth sorted out.

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  3. have you told her that you are thinking about doing that? if not, i wonder if it might be the kick in the butt that she needs to stop lying because it doesn’t just affect her, it affects you and others who are involved. she has to realize at some point there consequences that could also put her in harms way if it’s the wrong person she lies to or pisses off.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Not yet, I had a conversation about the whole thing with my fiance and video taped it. A friend of mine is thinking the same thing that I am so we are going to look at the video for her body language and the way she speaks. However, just from talking to her, she was acting the way that she does when she gets in trouble. Not the way you would think someone would act when they are ashamed of what was said to them.

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