Holy anxiety batman!

So for some reason my anxiety is through the roof. Nothing has really happened. I have decided that today is the day I start the journey to quit smoking. I’m on Champix add to the fact that I’m now around no other smokers I have high hopes for myself.

I have contacted the school to let them know to take him off the list of contacts. Tomorrow she has a doctors appointment that I’m dreading, I have to walk to her school, which takes about 45 mins, then walk over an hour to the doc and another hour home. While I enjoy walking, my knee is already a little tender so I’m slightly concerned.

I got a text from his sister last night. She was pissed to say the least, but of course I’m guessing she doesn’t know the whole story as to why we broke up. So whatever, he has found a place to park his eye sore of a truck, just needs to figure out how to get it there since it’s packed full of crap and doesn’t run.

I have had a wicked headache for 2 days now and it’s just not going away. Last night I actually slept, though I’m now out of sleeping pills until tomorrow. I also contacted the doctor to fill out a form to get help with transportation to my appointments as well as my daughters. That’s a waiting game however.

Apparently in order to get the script for a new knee brace and new inserts for shoes I have to pay for them. Where the hell am I suppose to come up with $20 for each??? Frustrated much. Any way that they can get more money out of people. It’s a script, like any other meds that are given to you, so what’s the difference?

On a good note my daughters mood has dramatically changed. She’s bouncy and cheerful, though very worried about me. She still feels guilty sometimes and I tell her that it’s ok, it was going to end anyway.

I also told her not to tell her counsellors or anyone what happened. I don’t know if this is the right choice, but I’m afraid that Family and Childrens services will get involved again, which I don’t need and she doesn’t want and the cops will get involved.

The only reason that they aren’t involved now is because I know the outcome. Nothing. It’s a he said she said kind of deal with no proof. So I dealt with it, and I don’t see why she should have to tell some strange cop (yes we are cop friendly) something that made her so uncomfortable when she was telling me and having nothing done about it anyway.

I know the law, if there is no proof they will investigate and do nothing. It’s not their fault I get it, but it still sucks ass.

2 thoughts on “Holy anxiety batman!

  1. while i understand your concerns about the ministry being involved, i do think it’s important that professionals know what has happened so they can help her to deal with it appropriately. i do not really think the ministry would get involved since he is no longer in your home, and you have taken those steps to protect her, etc. but it is your call for sure.

    i just know what it was like having gone through different incidents of sexual abuse/assault from various people in my childhood (and an attempt at 15/16 as well as just inappropriate things being said) and not having had the appropriate help through it. it added to the issues i already had, so that is something to take into consideration too. i think it is important for her healing at some point to address it with a professional if it is something that she has a difficult time dealing with.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have been through things myself so I’m so unsure of what to do, but we will talk about it until her next appointment and see where she stands.
    If she is still feeling guilty and worried then I will let her decide.


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