Lately I have found myself wondering what exactly my issue is. I mean aside from the mental health thing. I may have found part of it, maybe, I have such a wide area of interests, things I like to do that make me happy.
For one I have a 4D puzzle going, then there’s gaming, cooking and photography. Then the big one is I just want to help people. I think my problem is that because I want to do so much I get over-whelmed and just end up sitting playing my games.
It doesn’t help that it’s so cold out so photos aren’t really an option (that and the camera battery needs to be charged lol) When I wake up I feel like I can conquer the world, then I just settle into my routine. Video games, thinking about all the other stuff that I want/can do and it’s almost like a panic attack is coming on. All the other things that I enjoy relax me just as much as gaming, it’s just kind of my routine now. Wake up play the games that I do daily and then maybe throw in another game until it’s time to make dinner.
I have shows that I love on the DVR and I can’t even get into the mood to watch them. The biggest one being Supernatural, I have all of them on DVD and I’m 2 weeks behind on watching this season.
I’m kind of in a funk and I need to pull myself out of it. Then there’s the other half of it, the religious half, something that again makes me happy, however something that I try and get in the mood to read and research and learn and I just can’t.
I’m starting another class in March which when finished will leave me with 2 more classes to do before I enter the wonderful world of online University in the hopes of becoming a Vet. Even that I can’t get excited over.
My fiance has the ultimate goal of moving semi off-grid. I say semi only because we will still have tv and the net. Tv I can live without, the net… not so much lol. Now this project we are talking a couple of years into the future. We are waiting for my daughter to leave and start her life, since the plan is to move back to BC to do this.
I’m happy with the idea and excited about it, my only concern is that my body won’t be up to it. With my knees being messed up as they are and having to wait until May to see another specialist, I’m not sure what’s going to happen. Plus the fact that he has massive back issues, I swear he tells me one more time that he needs to go to a chiropractor I’m going to scream. He’s been saying it for over a year, yet has still not gone.
I know you didn’t notice my absence, but I just plugged in the battery for my camera lol, most of the pics that I have been taking have been on my Iphone, and while I can get some pretty good shots on it, it’s not the same as holding an actual camera and taking the picture. This photo was taken on our little drive. Using my phone, it’s a good pic yes, but it would have been better with the camera. (that would be the fiance and daughter 😉 in case you couldn’t guess) lol